Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Why Herman Cain would be a selfish bastard if he dropped out of race.



I am in a panicked mood right now. The mere prospect of Herman Cain dropping out of the race for the republican nomination for president has me nervous as hell.

Mr. Cain is worried about the effect this campaign and his trying to screw every woman in a 10 mile radius is having on his wife and family.

That selfish bastard. What about me!?!?

I would have the same dilemma that many bloggers will have if Herman Cain drops out of the race, we wont be able to write about whatever dumb sh** Herman has done that day.

You see Mr. Cain is the gift that keeps on giving to bloggers. Slow news day. Don't worry Herman will go fu** something up and viola you have a new story. 

I mean who else will say some dumb sh** like:

 "...Blacks are not wealthy enough to Tea Party."

 "......If your poor it's your fault."

 "...the democratic plantation."

 ".....black people are brainwashed by democrats."

 " 9, 9 , 9." 

Who else can not know what the fu** he is talking about and break into song to cover it up?

 Don't go Herman! Don't go.

 I mean Herman Cain was like a black liberals dream come true. A prototypical self hating and pandering conservative that was even a bigger turnoff to conservatism than Clarence Thomas. Because unlike justice Thomas Herman Cain actually talks and lets all the foolishness inside his head out.

 Mr. Cain can not and must not drop out of the race. I'm not saying this for purely personal reasons either. Think about the devastating effects his dropping out could have on the US Economy.

 * Late night joke writers would have to be laid off.

 * Lawyers that specialize in sexual harassment cases could face a 75% decline in business.

 * The sales of condoms would drop dramatically.

 * Sales of Viagra and Cialis would plummet

So you see Mr. Cain this is not about you but about the United States of America. We can't make it without you. we need you. I NEED YOU. Stay in this race for your country and more importantly for me.

 George Cook AAreports.com. Author of the Kindle book Let's Talk Honestly: One Black Man's Thoughts $1.50

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